Connie (Mrs. WebSlave)

Connie called me again today. She is VERY homesick. She was crying most of the time, and when not crying, I could tell she was fighting back the tears. Not feeling well is certainly contributing to that. She is worried about her blood pressure (194) and the swelling of her feet and legs. She also seems to be very out of breath, having trouble breathing. She talked to a doctor today, and he said that fluid buildup from all the infusions is not unusual. And that fluid buildup could be contributing to pressure on her lungs to account for the breathing problems.

It is just tearing me up with her being so far away and I can't be there to hold her hand.

She got an X-ray to look at her lungs, but hasn't heard the results yet. She is due for more infusions today, so I guess that depends on the X-ray results and what her blood pressure reading is.

Had to take a valium yesterday, and then another one today after talking to Connie on the phone. These are only 2mg tablets, so they don't have any real notable effect on me. But I think they just take a little bit of the sharpness away from that blade sticking in my heart.
 
Oh Rich, I'm so sorry, for you both! It sounds like Connie is having a bad time, and you're unable to do anything. I hope they know what they're doing. I read a lot on their website, but don't recall seeing what percentage of patients go into remission, and of those, for how long? She just seems a lot worse than she was when she went in. I hope that's temporary. Try to hang in there, even if you need Valium to get some sleep.
 
I talked to her later in the evening and she seemed to be doing better. The doctors cut back some of the infusions she is getting. I also think it may be a case of just temporary effects from the infusions as they seemed to be doing better. She didn't seem as homesick, so I think the combination of not feeling well and just missing me was a bit too much for her to take. I guess she got used to when she wasn't feeling well here I was right by her side to take care of her. Her sister is there to help, but I don't think it is the same for Connie.

I told her if she wants to break loose and come back home early, I would arrange that with the airlines. Heck, I would drive there myself to go get her, if needed. But she really wants to stick it out. She has high hopes for that dendritic cell therapy. I checked and it appears that negative side effects are very minimal. Mostly flu-like symptoms for a few days, and some soreness at the injection site. I don't know if they will be using her port or not for this.

Saturday she is supposed to get something (according to her calendar schedule) called "LAK - lymphocyte activated killer cells". A search online shows something called "lymphokine-activated killer cell" instead. Hmm, info seems to be quite dated. I guess this is something else that the FDA swept under the rug. They seem to do that a LOT with promising cancer treatments that have no value to the pharmaceutical companies.

Connie just texted me and she says she is feeling a lot better. I think she just has been getting a lot of new stuff put into her blood stream, and she has always seemed more sensitive to such things than most people.

Well, one thing I can say through all this. I am finally beginning to see the benefit of having these cell phones. I guess I am being assimilated by the Borg after all.
 
Connie has been getting outside more and taking walks outside of the hospital grounds. She goes with her sister and at least one other person. Yesterday she had a 3 hour walk. I think it is doing her good to get outside and getting some exercise.

She seems to be feeling better, but still has a nagging cough. She thinks it is something in the hospital as she doesn't cough at all when outside.

Armed guards are everywhere in the area. And not just your Walmart security types. These are guards in full battle gear with rifles. Her sister took a pic of Connie the other day with a pair of those armed guards in the background. Sure doesn't give one a real warm and fuzzy feeling about walking about in Tijuana.
 

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She is looking very lovely in that last picture Rich.
When I had my open heart surgery both lungs collapsed with one being worse than other. They had me up and walking 24 hours later and that helped a lot with coughing. Sitting up was better than laying down but a brisk 5 min walk helped tremendously.

Hopefully she was just having a bad moment when she called earlier. When not feeling 100% some times you need a few minuets to cry and have a little bit of pity for yourself, then you go enough of that and go back to normal.

She'll be back soon, Hang in there!
 
She still has that nagging cough. Seems to cough. I won't lie, it really worries me. Ovarian cancer is known to spread to the lungs. And she already has cancer cells in the fluid that has been extracted from the sacs surrounding her lungs.

She had that "LAK - lymphocyte activated killer cells" injection today. They used her port, so that was a good thing.

She is supposed to begin the dendritic cell therapy tomorrow (Sunday) and I think that is not going to be any fun for her. Apparently they have to inject via a needle (and she says a LARGE one too) via veins in her thighs. Alternating from one to the other in the series. Others who had it said it can be a bit painful, even with the anesthetic administered locally.

God I wish she wasn't going through all of this. This is a very serious strain on my heart with the constant stress.
 
Hoping that the LAK introduction went smoothly. Connie is lovely in the picture. Tijuana, not so much. It has obviously changed since I was there with Dad in 1976, and not for the better. Keep talking care of yourself, Rich. You and Connie will be back together soon.

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Yeah, it will be really good to have her back home.

But how long can someone live with this text book Sword of Damocles dangling over their head before they just crack under the strain?

That goes for both Connie and myself.
 
Yesterday (07/10) Connie, her sister, and another patient got a taxi cab driver to take them on a little trip down south to a town called Rosarito. They had a good time, and Debbie took some pics of Connie. I think she looks like she is getting healthier. She has some of her color back and just seems like she is feeling WELL again. Yeah, maybe wishful thinking on my part, but I wish for little else these days.
 

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Well, this is just great.

Connie was in the hospital during the week of 08-14. Had to have both plerual areas of her lungs drained. Whoever did the right lung apparently punctured the lung so she had to have a vacuum apparatus stuck in her chest to drain the air, blood, and other fluids. Then she also had her chemo infusion port removed because the skin had become damaged and looked really nasty.

Then on 08-20 I started feeling like I was getting sick. Probably from some bug picked up at the hospital the prior week. Headache, sore throat, and a temperature that was jumping all over the place. Sometimes as high as 102 or so. Yeah, great..... I immediately started wearing a mask here at home, but apparently it was too late. Connie started feeling sick on 08-23. By 08-25 she was back into the emergency room. They tested her for COVID and the test came back positive. I had tested myself with a home kit earlier, but my non-functional brain read the results wrong, and I thought I was negative. But when I tested Connie while at the hospital I looked more closely at the results and determined that yep, we BOTH had come down with COVID. Great.....

Connie was being treated for pneumonia in her lower right lung. And, of course, having COVID. Fortunately her pleural effusions hadn't built up yet to where they needed to be drained, which is what she thought was going on when we went to the emergency room.

I brought her back home on 08-27. So she was pumped full of antibiotics while at the hospital and she has even more in pill form to be taking for the next 10 days. That all on top of her chemo drugs from her trip to Tijuana over a month ago. We are both coughing quite a bit, but beyond that really don't feel all that bad. Maybe a little like being put through a wringer.

And now we have Hurricane Idalia bearing down on us. With all those drugs in Connie, she can't get too far away from a bath room, so evacuating would be a real issue. Not to mention checking into a motel while having COVID certainly wouldn't endear us to the natives. So we are here to just ride it out, and whatever happens, happens. Honestly, just getting real tired of fighting and worrying every damn day about something or another.

Gee, it's just GREAT to be alive................. :no01:
 
Rich, you and Connie have really been living through horrors. We thought of you two when we saw the forecast track of Idalia. So many awful things converging upon you. We contribute praying for you both specifically. Thoughts and prayers have become a parodied cliché, but you are nonetheless in mine.

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Well, if our home gets destroyed, even if we live through it, game over for us. We don't have a life worth trying to rebuild.
 
You got this Rich! I will be thinking about both of you.
 
House was untouched. No damage. Power was out for 29 hours or so.

Just a great time for Connie to be suffering from cancer, COVID, pneumonia and who the hell knows what else. Over the past month we have been in the emergency room and hospital more than we have been without. And good chance we will be going back to the emergency room real soon as her cough is worsening and she has lower intestinal distress from the antibiotic she was prescribed for her pneumonia. And certainly the cancer drugs aren't helping in that department neither.

She is getting short of breath again, so I guess I need to get ready to take her to the ER.
 
Been a long while since I made an update.

Short answer is, my wife and best friend of 45 years is dying. Despite the mainstream chemo treatments, despite the alternative drugs we were trying, despite her trip to Tijuana Mexico to an alternative treatment facility called Oasis Of Hope, and despite the hardest and longest praying I have ever done in my life.

She is now under Hospice care. This past Friday the hospice nurse said that based on similar cases she has seen, Connie would likely pass away within 2 weeks. Of course I didn't tell Connie that!

Now she is bed ridden in a hospital bed we have in the family room in our home. Both of her sisters are here to help out. Thank goodness, because I couldn't do this sort of care alone. She is obviously fading fast, and her speech is becoming almost unintelligible. None of us have had any unbroken sleep for a while now, because it takes all three of us to get Connie out of bed and to the port-a-potty and back again. Her legs have gotten very weak and she has difficulty maintaining her balance. She would definitely fall and hurt herself without our assistance.

I am a crushed and shattered man. She was my entire world. I went to my PCP doctor last week and got prescribed some medication to help get me through this (hopefully). I already had valium that was prescribed by an earlier doctor, which helped take the edge off of things a LOT of times, but this is getting REALLY heavy now. The stuff I am taking is supposed to take a couple of weeks to really kick in, so I am hoping it kicks in before I just lose my mind.

I don't have a single solitary clue about what I will do when (if? Still hope for a miracle.) she dies. A very VERY big part of me will die too.
 
I am so very sorry to hear this very sad news, and very difficult times. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.
 
Rich, my thoughts are with you and Connie during this difficult time...
 
I'm so sorry to hear this, Rich. I don't have adequate words, but please know that I, and many others are thinking of, and praying for you both.
 
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