Sad...

[pogonadragon]

I hope this is where this goes cause this is off topic and not a rant...
So last week was very interesting. I called my mother the day after Thanksgiving to see if my father was home/to see about going over there and we started talking about random things. At the end of the conversation she said, "Oh, there's sad news... I guess Daryl killed himself last night." Daryl was their neighbor. He was a bit odd but when you know someone for like, 10 plus years it comes as an enormous shock... What's more he and his wife have two little kids.
I think it was the next day that my husband and I were at home and my grandmother called his phone (she and I aren't really speaking to eachother...) he left the room and came back in. He told me that she told him that a girl I used to be friends with, who was due to have her and her hubby's first baby mid December, the doctors couldn't find the baby's heartbeat. Shortly after the phonecall she called back and left a message saying that she had had the baby stillborn. Such a surreal weekend. The interesting part was how my husband and I had had a discussion a couple of days prior about how I complain about almost everything and basically need gratitude. He said, because this does happen, what if God allowed one of our children to be taken in order to get me to where I need to be. You would have to know my husband to understand that he wasn't being mean. He is the MOST diplomatic person and is very rational/reasonable about everything. I think he said that because God used my grandparents losing a child to "fix" their lives/heal their marriage which was an absolute mess...
The events of the weekend, esspecially my friend losing her baby made me really think and caused me to change my perspective. It made/still makes me absolutely sick and sad that she lost her baby but I know that God used it to show me how important it is to be grateful! And I know that God can heal her and her husband's brokeness in time... Say a prayer for them and my parents neighbor's wife everyone.

 

[Karen Hulvey]

What a sad, sad tale you've told. Suicide is terrible and is done when a person is depressed and feels like he/she has no way out or done for attention but I doubt God had anything to do with it. Losing a baby is equally terrible but, again, I doubt God had anything to do with it. There are a hundred things that can and do go wrong in pregnancy every day.

The really sad thing is I think you believe that God will kill someone to "fix" somone else's life. I don't believe this at all and I don't know where you're getting your ideas.

If you're always complaining about things, it sounds like you aren't happy and could possibly have some form of depression. Perhaps you should be checked out by your doctor.

 

[pogonadragon]

lol, NO on the depression. More like I am nit picky but it's really interesting because I did end up with a new perspective. I think you could say that maybe the best way to put it is that I was raised getting most everything I wanted so when I don't get a new this or that I can be a "brat"...

I want to clarify something. God does not author sin. Suicide is never God's will. HOWEVER, God tells us that He can work out everything for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose... that's what I meant with what I said about losing a child... my grandparent's son ended up with a brain tumor and died at I think 18 months old. They had a horrendous marriage. While their baby was in the hospital things happened that really turned them around. One thing they have spoken of that comes to mind is a man who went to the hospital initially to pray for their son, but he asked my grandpa if he could pray with him instead and grandpa said sure... my grandma has been a Christian since she was little, but grandpa wasn't up until their son died. They will be the first people to tell you that in spite of the horrendous loss of their son, that they allowed God to use it for His good will, and they have said many times they see the huge blessings that have come from that baby. They loved him dearly, so that's not in question. It's a matter of faith.
I do see what you mean in what you said, but I didn't mean God will just randomly kill people. That sounds terrible and is a terrible idea. All I know is that God does allow some pretty heavy stuff in order to get us to where we need to go. Perfect example is Job... Job didn't see what was going on in the heavenlies, he just saw that his life was literally falling apart. His wife, all his children, animals, possessions, and even his health were gone but he trusted God through it and because of his trust he got back so much...

I want to say my reason for posting the first post. When all this happened I did feel depressed the day I found out about my friend losing her baby. I felt as if I was almost grieving. I was suprised by how much pain I felt- the neighbor was someone that I never really talked to and was even kind of creepy. My "friend" I haven't seen in a few years. I think I was suprised by how it made me feel because of the lack of closeness to either person but yet the depth of how it affected me.
I don't know, I just wanted to get it out I guess...

 

[KelliH]

Very sad stories, both the suicide and the stillborn baby. I personally feel that if those sorts of things are "God's Plan", then I want nothing to do with a God like that. I have suffered the most horrible loss anyone can suffer, and I do not see how something such as that could be God's will. Horrible things happen, and life really sucks sometimes, that's what it boils down to. In my opinion of course.

 

[Golden Gate Geckos]

God does NOT do these things! It's sad that He gets blamed for all the bad things that happen, but seldom gets credit for our endless bounty of good things. To try and second guess His plan will only make us frustrated. Our little pea-brains cannot conceive of His ultimate universal plan... so that's where Faith comes in to play. Faith that He knows what He's doing.

I have lost a husband to an aneurysm, twin boys to respiratory failure, my mother to cancer, my brother to suicide, and last month my father to a massive coronary. I have been a hospital Chaplain and a grief counselor. I have presided over funeral services and burials. I am no stranger to grief.

When someone falls into the depth of despair and kills themselves, it means that Satan is in control - and it is we that allow this. Satan wants us to hurt and suffer; to lose our self esteem and become overwhelmed with self pity and hatred. He uses us a pawns in attempt to prevail over God's dominion, and drive a wedge between us and our Creator.

When bad things happen to good people, try to remember that it is NOT God's will that causes them... it is just part of a plan that is much greater than our own, and we cannot conceive of it's intricacies.

 

[Lucille]

When someone falls into the depth of despair and kills themselves, it means that Satan is in control

I feel it is important to mention here that certain kinds of depression have medical causes, and these depression can be from an imbalance of certain kinds of chemicals, and if a person is yet living it would be better to have it checked out rather than writing it off to Satan.. The particular kind of depression that is caused by imbalance is treatable.
So if any of you know of someone who is experiencing severe depression, a medical checkup is a good idea.
Angelica, what a difficult experience this was.
Kelli, my heart still goes out to you, for your loss.
Marcia, you too, have had your share of sorrows.

 

[Golden Gate Geckos]

I understand about the brain chemistry behind severe depression, and totally agree that many depressive conditions require medical intervention. I have suffered from chronic depression since my teens, and have been hospitalized and medicated for it while I was in my 20's. My brother suffered from bipolar disorder and functioned quite well when he was under supervised medication, but took his own life 5 years ago.

Lucille is right... people suffering from depression should seek medical help.

I was standing on my pulpit, preaching, and failed to recognize the emotional trauma behind the horrors of losing a child or the death of a neighbor.

 

[pogonadragon]

I want to say how much I appreciate everyone's input! I think this kind of discussion is important... to say the least these two things were huge shocks and still cause such sadness when I think about them. God has such an amazing plan and yes, bad things happen. However, he tells us that His plan is not to harm us but to prosper us. God is not in any way the author of sin and the things that come along with it. All I meant was the bad things that happen are allowed. God is so much bigger than we are and when we go through trials and pain, big or small, He wants us to rely on His strength to get us through. As much as some of these things hurt, God wants us to trust Him to show His faithfulness. I don't know what my life will bring. But if I ever experience some of the things brought up on this thread, I hope that I turn to God. It's funny, my husband and I get a daily Bible verse sent to one of our email accounts. The verse today is:
When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you.

Isaiah 43:2 NLT

I thought that really applies to what is being talked about here.
And Marcia, I'm so sorry for all you have gone through! God is a God of comfort and even though that doesn't take our pain away, He can and does give us the grace and ability to go through our trials victoriously...

OH, also, one thing about depression. I'm wondering what you all think about this. My father has been on Prozac for I think nearly 10 years. He takes it daily and it obviously isn't doing much good because he still takes it. I'm wondering what you all think he should do. I don't know if taking a pill is just easier to him than the idea of trying to resolve what is wrong or what, but I know if nothing else, taking drugs for that long cannot be healthy. Also, as far as my mother and I know, the doctor has not once tested his liver through all this to make sure the medicine isn't having ill effects...
Just wondering.

 

[Lucille]

I know if nothing else, taking drugs for that long cannot be healthy.

Make an appointment, go in and discuss your concerns with your doctor, including your concern about testing.

My son will be taking a drug, insulin, for the rest of his life, 4 injections a day. Without it, he will die. There are some medications that people take for a very long time, because they must.

I was a psychiatric nurse for many years prior to gpoing into pediatric nursing, and the #1 reason people have psychiatric exacerbations is because they stop taking their medication, or sometimes
begin taking a conflicting medication at the same time without the knowledge of the doctor, and so on..

Your concerns are appropriate, but it would be good to discuss them with your doctor.
I advise everyone to try to be proactive and research their conditions and medications prior to the doctor visit. In my experience many doctors are delighted when their patients, or the families of their patients, do some research first so that the communication between doctor and patient them brings a higher level of understanding.

 

[A_Kendergirl]

I want to say how much I appreciate everyone's input! I think this kind of discussion is important... to say the least these two things were huge shocks and still cause such sadness when I think about them. God has such an amazing plan and yes, bad things happen. However, he tells us that His plan is not to harm us but to prosper us. God is not in any way the author of sin and the things that come along with it. All I meant was the bad things that happen are allowed. God is so much bigger than we are and when we go through trials and pain, big or small, He wants us to rely on His strength to get us through. As much as some of these things hurt, God wants us to trust Him to show His faithfulness. I don't know what my life will bring. But if I ever experience some of the things brought up on this thread, I hope that I turn to God. It's funny, my husband and I get a daily Bible verse sent to one of our email accounts. The verse today is:
When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you.

Isaiah 43:2 NLT

I thought that really applies to what is being talked about here.
And Marcia, I'm so sorry for all you have gone through! God is a God of comfort and even though that doesn't take our pain away, He can and does give us the grace and ability to go through our trials victoriously...

OH, also, one thing about depression. I'm wondering what you all think about this. My father has been on Prozac for I think nearly 10 years. He takes it daily and it obviously isn't doing much good because he still takes it. I'm wondering what you all think he should do. I don't know if taking a pill is just easier to him than the idea of trying to resolve what is wrong or what, but I know if nothing else, taking drugs for that long cannot be healthy. Also, as far as my mother and I know, the doctor has not once tested his liver through all this to make sure the medicine isn't having ill effects...
Just wondering.

If he is taking Prozac and is still having depression problems, then he should go see his doctor again. There are many anti-depressants out there, and not all of them will work - depending on the person. He may need a different dose, or a different medication all together. I know anyone who takes anti-depressants for that long is on them for a reason, and to stop can be very dangerous.

Back on track...I am very sorry to hear about your friend's loss. I can't imagine the pain she's feeling.

It does make me think of some things I've said recently.