• Posted 12/19/2024.
    =====================

    I am still waiting on my developer to finish up on the Classifieds Control Panel so I can use it to encourage members into becoming paying members. Google Adsense has become a real burden on the viewing of this site, but honestly it is the ONLY source of income now that keeps it afloat. I tried offering disabling the ads being viewed by paying members, but apparently that is not enough incentive. Quite frankly, Google Adsense has dropped down to where it barely brings in enough daily to match even a single paid member per day. But it still gets the bills paid. But at what cost?

    So even without the classifieds control panel being complete, I believe I am going to have to disable those Google ads completely and likely disable some options here that have been free since going to the new platform. Like classified ad bumping, member name changes, and anything else I can use to encourage this site to be supported by the members instead of the Google Adsense ads.

    But there is risk involved. I will not pay out of pocket for very long during this last ditch experimental effort. If I find that the membership does not want to support this site with memberships, then I cannot support your being able to post your classified ads here for free. No, I am not intending to start charging for your posting ads here. I will just shut the site down and that will be it. I will be done with FaunaClassifieds. I certainly don't need this, and can live the rest of my life just fine without it. If I see that no one else really wants it to survive neither, then so be it. It goes away and you all can just go elsewhere to advertise your animals and merchandise.

    Not sure when this will take place, and I don't intend to give any further warning concerning the disabling of the Google Adsense. Just as there probably won't be any warning if I decide to close down this site. You will just come here and there will be some sort of message that the site is gone, and you have a nice day.

    I have been trying to make a go of this site for a very long time. And quite frankly, I am just tired of trying. I had hoped that enough people would be willing to help me help you all have a free outlet to offer your stuff for sale. But every year I see less and less people coming to this site, much less supporting it financially. That is fine. I tried. I retired the SerpenCo business about 14 years ago, so retiring out of this business completely is not that big if a step for me, nor will it be especially painful to do. When I was in Thailand, I did not check in here for three weeks. I didn't miss it even a little bit. So if you all want it to remain, it will be in your hands. I really don't care either way.

    =====================
    Some people have indicated that finding the method to contribute is rather difficult. And I have to admit, that it is not all that obvious. So to help, here is a thread to help as a quide. How to become a contributing member of FaunaClassifieds.

    And for the record, I will be shutting down the Google Adsense ads on January 1, 2025.
  • Responding to email notices you receive.
    **************************************************
    In short, DON'T! Email notices are to ONLY alert you of a reply to your private message or your ad on this site. Replying to the email just wastes your time as it goes NOWHERE, and probably pisses off the person you thought you replied to when they think you just ignored them. So instead of complaining to me about your messages not being replied to from this site via email, please READ that email notice that plainly states what you need to do in order to reply to who you are trying to converse with.

Taser Anyone?

ForkedTung

ForkedTung

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Good story:
Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought
the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.. AWESOME!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a tw o-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.. .? I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dumbass,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and .. . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . ... . WHAT THE HELL!!! I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative? IT HURT LIKE HELL!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

P.s... My wife, who can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
Click to expand...
 
I went to a flea market in the poconos when I lived up in PA years back. Some dude selling these zapping contraptions, along with cross bows, knives and variety of other cruel looking torture devices, decided it would be a good idea to give a demonstration to several shoppers standing at his booth. He was just arching the thing in the air, not intending to zap someone with it, but I pointed to something to show my wife in another booth and I got it right on the arm. I spun, I swung, I swatted at the air, I twitched, I howled, I cursed, I jumped around made sounds like Michael Jackson when his hair caught fire doing his pepsi commercial. I grabbed for his crossbow and it was a good thing for him it was attached to a security cord and didn't have arrows or I would have killed him right where he stood.

Everyone was laughing but acting like they were so concerned holding their hands over there mouths like they were in shock. Even some Amish baker selling pies and breads looked like he was pissing himself with laughter.

The guy selling the zappers apologized even though it wasn't his fault. It was a hot day and the place was warm so I was very sweaty. He said the salts from my sweat probably helped increase the overall effect, I'm not a small guy at 6'0 210lbs. Thank god I didn't have a heart condition because I think I felt it stop and restart again. That cant be good for someone with a pacemaker.

I don't really remember how I got to the flea market, or where I parked, or whether I took my car or my mini-van. But I laughed about it afterward.
 
critical bill said:
LMAO. Thats pretty much what I looked like. My wife still laughs when she thinks about me swatting at the air. It was like I had spider webs all over me. lol.
Click to expand...

So did you end up with kinky hair or did it just stand straight up? If you were to put a light bulb in your mouth will it light up like Uncle Fester could do on the Adams Family? :idea:
 
DAND said:
So did you end up with kinky hair or did it just stand straight up? If you were to put a light bulb in your mouth will it light up like Uncle Fester could do on the Adams Family? :idea:
Click to expand...

No, I shave my head (just like Fester). Well I have hair now, but I let it grow in every so often and I just shave half my head and then I go to pick my kids up at school. They get such a laugh out of it - including the other parents and kids - never grows old.
 
critical bill said:
I went to a flea market in the poconos when I lived up in PA years back. Some dude selling these zapping contraptions, along with cross bows, knives and variety of other cruel looking torture devices, decided it would be a good idea to give a demonstration to several shoppers standing at his booth. He was just arching the thing in the air, not intending to zap someone with it, but I pointed to something to show my wife in another booth and I got it right on the arm. I spun, I swung, I swatted at the air, I twitched, I howled, I cursed, I jumped around made sounds like Michael Jackson when his hair caught fire doing his pepsi commercial. I grabbed for his crossbow and it was a good thing for him it was attached to a security cord and didn't have arrows or I would have killed him right where he stood.

Everyone was laughing but acting like they were so concerned holding their hands over there mouths like they were in shock. Even some Amish baker selling pies and breads looked like he was pissing himself with laughter.

The guy selling the zappers apologized even though it wasn't his fault. It was a hot day and the place was warm so I was very sweaty. He said the salts from my sweat probably helped increase the overall effect, I'm not a small guy at 6'0 210lbs. Thank god I didn't have a heart condition because I think I felt it stop and restart again. That cant be good for someone with a pacemaker.

I don't really remember how I got to the flea market, or where I parked, or whether I took my car or my mini-van. But I laughed about it afterward.
Click to expand...

Ohhh man, flea markets are the best for buying those zappers. I remember hitting those flea markets during road trips down to florida for spring break, they have some wicked stuff there for cheap. I have no idea how many volts it is, but I bought a zapper from one of the flea markets down there and decided to use it on myself. Yeeeooowch. Yes, I'm an idiot. I also play paintball without any protective gear, after I'm done getting shot at by my boyfriend and his mean friends I'm all bruised with purple round dots all over my body. Oh yeah never buy those throwing stars at the flea markets, they aren't worth a....$t
 
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